It's Not My First Wedding

WEDDING NOTES - It's Not My First Wedding

Well congratulations on taking the big step again.  You are in good company as the most recent data suggests that second weddings make up at least 30% of the weddings held in any given year.  And just because you've been married before doesn't mean you don't have questions about this one.

Your questions aren't new to us and we can offer advice and guidance to cover most situations in which you and your husband to be may find yourselves.  Second weddings tend to be unique depending on the circumstances.  Are there children involved?  What are your ages?  Is this a second wedding for you or for both of you?  The only "rule" you have to follow is to choose the kind of ceremony that feels right to both of you.  Leading up to that ceremony there are some accepted guidelines that you may feel comfortable following.

·         If there are children involved, they should be the first to hear your good news.  The way you choose to tell them should be designed to insure that they realize they are gaining another parent rather than losing the one they have.

·         If there are children involved, it is proper to inform your former spouse of your plans.

·         If it is the bride's second marriage, the traditional formal announcement is not made.  If it is the bride's first marriage and the groom's second, then a formal announcement IS made.

·         If it is the bride's second marriage, a semi formal or informal wedding is usually chosen.  An exception is made if the bride did not have a large formal wedding the first time or if this is the first time wedding for the groom.

·         If you are planning a small ceremony with only a few close relatives and friends in attendance, you needn't send printed invitations.  If the ceremony will be a large one, printed invitations are expected. 

·         Increasing in popularity is a small intimate wedding for family and close friends, followed by a much larger celebratory formal reception.  In this case you would send a formal invitation to those invited to the reception with a small enclosure card for the ceremony to those who are invited to both.