Saturday, August 1, 2015

What if IT is canceled?

WEDDING NOTES - What if IT is canceled?

No one wants to ever talk about the possibility of a wedding being canceled, but for a variety of reasons it can - and does - happen.  There are guidelines we can share with brides to handle this difficult time in as pleasant and civil manner as possible.  Everyone involved finds planning a joyful occasion but no one ever plans to cancel or postpone that event.  Our experienced consultants can ease the stress and guide your moves to handle the situation with dispatch.

If a formal wedding is postponed or canceled after the invitations have gone out, all invited guests must be notified as soon as possible.  When time permits, this is best done with printed cards, rush-ordered from your stationer.  Here are some samples:

·         If there has been a death in the family, the card would read:

Mrs. George Franklin Davis

regrets that the death of

Mr. Davis

obliges her to recall the invitations

to the wedding of her daughter

Saturday, the second of April


An invitation recalled in this manner just indicates that the wedding will not take place as originally planned.  It may take place as a small family ceremony since a large wedding may be considered inappropriate.  The couple may wear their formal attire but they will usually have honor attendants only.


·         If a wedding is postponed and a new date is set, new invitations may be sent out with this copy:

Mr. and Mrs. Douglas John Smith

announce that the marriage of their daughter

Carolyn Jane


Edward Patrick Murphy

has been postponed from

Saturday, the 11th of May


Saturday, the 25th of May

at four o'clock

Grace Presbyterian Church



·         If the wedding is canceled, invitations need to be recalled promptly with an engraved or printed card which reads:

Mr. and Mrs. Calvin Benjamin Clark

announce that the marriage of their daughter

Eileen Marie


Harold Robert Smith

will not take place.


If time is short, invitations may be recalled by personal notes or phone calls.  Notes should be patterned after these formats and signed by the person issuing the invitations.   Phone calls should be made in the name of the bride's parents.  Reasons other than death or illness in the family are not usually mentioned.


·         What do I do with the gifts I have received?

When a wedding is merely postponed, send an announcement to all the guests, keeping the presents you've already received.  When a wedding is canceled, however, every gift - even those that have been monogrammed - must go back to the person who sent it.  A note expressing gratitude and explaining that the wedding will not take place should accompany the gift, but you do not need to give a reason for the cancellation.


For more ideas call 605.348.8816 or email OR

Wedding Customs

WEDDING NOTES - Wedding Customs

We are frequently asked about the origin of many of the customs that are apart of today's weddings.

These customs make weddings unique and special and offer the comfort that comes from replicating many of the actions that generations have made traditions.


*Why a wedding ring?

The whole idea of a circular shape with no beginning and no end has been the symbol of unending love since the early Egyptians.  Early rings were made of hemp or braided rushes which had to be replaced frequently.  Early Romans made their rings out of iron which symbolized the durability of marriage.  Eventually, gold became the standard for wedding rings.  Today the symbolism remains while the ring itself may be made from silver or platinum or onyx in addition to gold.


*Why the third finger of the left hand?

The most widely accepted reason is that ancient peoples believed that the vein in the third finger of the left hand ran directly to the heart.  In the Middle Ages, during the ceremony, bridegrooms placed the ring on three of the brides’ fingers in turn to symbolize the Trinity.  The ring was left on the third finger and had become the tradition.  However, in some European countries, the wedding ring is worn on the right hand.  Many Greek women wear their ring on the left hand while engaged, moving it to the right hand after they are married.


*Why does a bride carry a handkerchief?

Not all brides do, but if a bride chooses to, it will be a lucky sign.  Early farmers thought a bride's wedding day tears were lucky and brought rain for their crops.  Later, a crying bride meant that she'd never shed another tear about her marriage.  Today's brides embroider their initials and wedding date on a lovely hanky, then pass it on to the next woman in the family to marry.


*Why rice and old shoes?

In the Orient, rice means, "May you always have a full pantry".  In other cultures, it is a symbol of fertility.  Today, rice remains a token of a life of plenty.

A red slipper thrown onto the roof of a house, indicates that a honeymoon is in progress.  Among early Hebrews, sandals were often exchanged as evidence of good faith in the sale of property.  Today, throwing a shoe after the bride or tying shoes to the back of the couple's car signifies the recognition of a new family unit.


For more ideas phone 605.348.8816 or email OR



Bridal showers have a long tradition.  They are parties with a purpose!  They are given to help the couple outfit their new home or assemble a trousseau.  It is a vestige of the age-old dowry, or wealth which a woman brought to her marriage.  It is generally given by women who are good friends of the bride-to-be, sometimes by a relative or most often by the honor attendant or bridesmaids.  They may be given by relative of the groom's family and are a nice way for the bride-to-be to meet members of her new family.

While at one time showers were given to help the new couple furnish necessities, today's showers are given around a variety of themes.

·         Kitchen showers are probably the most popular because of the wide range of items that nearly every couple can use.  One variation on the kitchen theme asks each guest to bring a favorite recipe along with one item needed for its preparation (e.g., a flour sifter with a cake recipe).  Many hostesses sent out uniform recipe cards in advance so they can be assembled in an easy to use box or notebook.

·         For an around-the-clock shower, each guest is assigned an hour of the day and then brings a gift to match along with a note explaining why that gift was chosen.  There are many possibilities:  an alarm clock, coffee mugs, newspaper or magazine subscriptions, a casserole dish for dinner, a bottle of wine for the cocktail hour, comfy slippers for evening lounging.

·         A service shower is perfect for the couple that seems to have everything.  Guests pledge a way to help in the future - a catered dinner for two, an offer to paint the living room of the house they're redecorating, Saturday morning yard work, a weekend at a guest's lake cabin.

·         An office shower could be perfect for the woman with a busy career:  a leather-bound weekly planner for the home, engraved stationery, attache' case, books, gift certificate for a Kindle, a week's worth of dinners for two prepared, frozen and clearly marked.

·         Women only showers are naturals for lingerie, sewing accessories, closet and/or drawer organizers, gift certificates for beauty salon or masseuse services.

·         Couples showers suggest his-and-her tools for household maintenance, plants, wines/liquors, sporting goods and games.


For more ideas call 605.348.8816 or email OR

The Legalities to Remember

WEDDING NOTES - The Legalities to Remember

As lovely and personal and exciting this wedding is going to be, the wise couple remembers that it much more.  Your very personal and beautifully planned event is also a civil event in which a new legal entity is created.  There are a number of factors to consider once the bride and the groom are pronounced man and wife.

·         The prenuptial agreement - While it may not be romantic to consider one, there are circumstances in which a contract concerning expectations or property can be very helpful.  These agreements give the couple an opportunity to cover certain circumstances.  For example, it is a second marriage for both and each has children from a former marriage, an agreement might protect the rights of each partner's children, or the parents of the bride or the groom may be giving the couple a valuable antique.  The family may wish to have this heirloom remain in the family in the event of divorce.  A prenuptial agreement may state how you will handle savings or how household expenses will be shared.  Such agreements should be well thought out and reviewed by a lawyer, signed by both parties plus witnesses and notarized.

·         The marriage license -   Know that each state has its own requirements for blood tests, waiting time and age of consent , so do check with public officials for all the details.

·         The marriage certificate - Following your ceremony, your witnesses and the officiant (and in some states the bride and groom as well) will all sign the civil certificate.  Some couples may include the signing in their ceremony (a Quaker custom).  Your church or synagogue may also issue its own certificate.  Generally your officiant will file your marriage certificate with the proper authorities and you'll receive a copy some weeks later by mail.

·         Changing your name -Once married the bride can choose to use her husband's surname, continue to use her maiden name, or combine the two to suit the couple's choice.  If any change of name is done, you'll need to record than name change on all legal documents and papers.  Here are a few:

*Driver's license                                               *Car Registration

*Passport                                                            *Social Security card

*Insurance Policies                                         *Will

*Voter Registration card                               *Checking Account

*Savings Accounts                                           *Credit Cards

*Stock Certificates                                          *Employee I.D. cards

*Post Office


For more ideas phone 605.348.8816 or email OR