Wedding Gifts


WEDDING NOTES - Wedding Gifts

Gift giving has been a part of wedding lore for centuries.  They have been given to newlyweds in every culture.  But at one time, after the couple had furnished their new home, they were expected to return any practical gifts they had received at their wedding that were not in use.

Useful gifts were appreciated.  At one time, a "must have" gift for the bride was a set of finely decorated knives.  She wore them proudly sheathed and hung from a belt as part of her wedding finery.

In some areas, friends would give the couple fruit trees to plant at their new home.

And old Scandinavian tradition said that the bride must make the wedding shirt for her husband to be.  He would wear the shirt on his wedding day and then put it away.  The only other time he would wear it was when he was buried, thus reinforcing the lasting nature of marriage "until death do us part".

When to give a gift?

Engagement party?   - No gift required.  That's because engagements used to be surprise announcements rather than planned parties.  Close friends and family may choose to give a gift to the engaged couple, but because not everyone will bring a gift, packages should be opened after - not during the party.

Bachelorette Party? - No gift required.  Usually the bridesmaid's chip in and cover the bride's expenses for their night out.

Bridal Shower? - Gift required if you attend.  If you don't go, no gift required.   However, family and close friends may choose to give a gift anyway.  They may have it delivered to the hostess's home before the event or sent with someone who is planning to attend.

Weddings? – Usually, even if you aren't attending.  But it is also ok to give nothing.  According to some wedding etiquette experts the only time a gift is required is a bridal shower that you are attending.  Most people tend to give wedding gifts whether they attend or not.  The question is "how much should I spend?"  The usual guideline is to give enough to cover the price of your meal and that of your guest if you have one.  The best way to handle wedding gifts is to have them sent to the bride's home in advance of the big day.  This avoids security problems at wedding receptions that are becoming more and more of a problem.

2nd Wedding - No gift required, especially if you attended the first wedding and gave a gift, but most guests ignore this and bring a gift.

The one rule consultants should stress is that there should be no mention of gift giving on the wedding invitation.  The invitation's purpose is to invite friends and family to celebrate the wedding, not to solicit gifts.

 

 

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